0 cookie(s) ● Thursday, April 12, 2012 ● 2:22 PM
Ehem.
Hi galsss! long time no seeee! I used to stop blogging for a while due to my focus on the national exam but.. finally I still haven't been ready to face and fight the national exam. Gosh.
Well I actually wanna tell you something that... that I've never told you or anyone in my public blog before. It's abstractly and randomly about... a boy. Well, not boy like that, not my boyfriend cause I've never had any boyfriend though. Not even about a close boy of mine but... a junior.
I forget and can never remember the first time I saw him, either on a basketball extracurricular or wherever it is. But a thing that I remember is when I saw him, when I was on 'pendopo', without knowing his name or any information about him, I adored him quietly from about 5 meters away. Wondering on my head what his name is. And hoping nothing to God but just to know his name before I leave that school.
And a thing that I remember is I used to want to know just his name, cause I thought this was just a 'glance-crush', just saw that he's cute and lovely, and wouldn't continue to know his personal information moreover chasing him or having a real crush on him. And I thought that it's only the face of him that I adore, so that I thought I wouldn't need to tell anyone about him.
But the story changed a lot after I told my friends in class 9-5 that I adored him. I never expect this, but they randomly knew his name and told me his name. *They were at pendopo, next to him and his group of friends, and my friends heard his name but not really sure, and called his name just to test that his name was right or wrong. And it was wrong. They call the second possibility of name, and he looked at them. wahahahaha.* And the improvement of knowing his personal information improved so quickly because *again* they, especially Cidut told me his complete name, his facebook account and of course I searched his twitter username. I HAD NEVER planned to stalk him this far, but... once I knew his personal information, I got addicted and just can't stop. I thought I wouldn't have this freakin' crush on him this bad. And till now, I just haven't had enough courage to directly talk to him or text him. Such. A. Fool. I. Am.
I really.. reaallyyy don't wanna leave this school before he knows me and we can be friends. But... I never make any effort because of my fear. My fear that he wouldn't give a damn on me. I'm just too scared to be ignored, moreover rejected by him. I'm just too frightened to take the risk, to be known as a weird and random senior who seek her junior's attention. I can never imagined if he just finally hates me and don't wanna know anything about me. I'm too pessimistic.
What should I do?
Oh well! That's some. Just wanna share, because I think my just mind don't need to save any other thoughts but the lessons, that's why I share this. Give this post not any damn! Bubbye :D
Labels: Just share, Unimportant-_-
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